Dear fat lady, please sing!

Every once in a while, you get the pleasure of hearing your heart break. The sound of it is not only deafening but it also shakes your soul. It takes the little hope you had and squishes life out it. Then lets you breathe for a fraction of a second, just enough air to keep your lungs from giving in, then presses the loop button.

This year, well I think I am learning to dance to the sound of my breaking heart and make art with the pieces of hope left. I keep telling the year to take a bow, the show is over, it has done an amazing performance but I think the 'Fat lady' has not yet sung so the show goes on. Maybe she too, has been gutted by 2016 and is somewhere looking for her voice. If you read this 'fat Lady' find your danm voice already! This show MUST end!

I remember wishing for death, yes, the end of lungs with air and a beating of the heart. The whole end! I was young; I thought I knew it all.  I was deathly afraid of seeing what you have shown me 2016! I never wanted to be in that position where I have to do what adults do, or make decision like they do, but above all I was Afraid of seeing the woman I call angel on her knees, in defeat. 

This is a woman who not only brought me to this world but has always put up a fight to keep me here. This year has given her some fine blows, constant tears in her eyes because ALL her babies are not okay. If one was, maybe that would console her. But none is! Mama feels it all. She knows how wind has been knocked out of her babies’ lungs and gutted is slowly becoming all they know, and she knows!

That is all you have done 2016, you have not pulled any punches! You let us have it all! We almost no longer feel! So we laugh, laugh at just how cruel you have been, love more! That is all we have left, love! That is one thing we will not run out of. The rest, you can take, we do not feel that much any way... but we Love! We will laugh at how we will clean hospital corridors just to get through, because the hospital bill has way too many zeros at the end. These corridors will be spotless when we walk out together. We will hold one who holds all our lives in his little fingers. We will have God on our side!

2016, there is more, you have brought down the walls. Now we know! We know friends that are family! We know just what it means to have nothing but each other, we know! You have taught us that we are not exempted from life, you have shown us our greatest fears and have invited them to dine with us. You set a table for us and invited insecurities, lack, fear, uncertainty, heartbreaks, letdowns and pain to wait on us. You fed us lies, false promises, anger, mistrust filled our stomachs with such pity that we almost do not know what our gut feelings are!

You need to end 2016. You really do!