sweet Mayhem

‘Heav'n has no Rage, like Love to Hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a Fury, like a Woman scorn'd.’ that is what William Congreve thought well he hadn’t met this disillusioned woman! Yes he would rush and scrap off the scorn and put in something more profound. It sure is a crazy world we now call home, what I wouldn’t give to trade places with the angels. Watching news now should have the parental advisory slogan. Everyone can relate to some sort of calamity, from drought, tribal clashes, dysfunctional family, broken heart, stress (I could go on forever, but I trust that you get the drift). So I sit in myself evoked sanctuary thinking of how I can bring a smile to someone’s face that is all I can do, since I am yet to perfect my magic powers. This is probably the last thing that would, but a girl can dream can’t she? There is a high possibility that you will not have gained a thing from this reading (there I go again with the presumptions that any one will ever read what I put here. Secretly I hope no one does though I will share the link on my Facebook and twitter accounts. ) so consider this your heads up. 

 We can read all the positive living books but still end up with suicidal thoughts in our heads, this doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with us nor the writers, (not so sure on the writers for I am yet to meet one, I just had to say that for it sounded smart, at least it did in my head). I wish I had answers to many of these questions it would save me some few hours’ of having to visit the ‘nutsy house’. Oh well that is neither here nor there. I hope by now you are as lost as I am in this *pausing for a moment* it’s evident that I too don’t know what to call this piece of writing. If ‘this’ is that’ writers block’ that many have written books on then they have failed to capture the mood and feelings as they are. I wonder what my home boy Albert Einstein would do if he were in my shoes. *thoughtful mili second* guess I’ll ask him when we meet.  

I would love nothing more than to sign off and leave you pissed off and vowing to block this blog as spam (I wonder if that is possible)but some inner voice isn’t going to let me, so how about some food for thought? You have come this far, so don’t navigate to any other page just yet. There are many things going wrong, it like the wild wild west up in here, but (yes wipe off that shock off your face there is a BUT) there is one thing (person in my case) that you can be thankful for. It might be that job that you have always dreamed of having and you FINALLY have it, the dream girl/boy has changed location from the dream-land to your arms, a highly coveted MA, heck it could even be the realization of your purpose on earth. Take as second and breath in the awesomeness of the beauty of having that one thing. Being the sane individual that I am, I cannot thank my angel enough. She has single handedly molded me (the hardest clay ever) into who I am today. I say single handedly not because she is alone but because she is the key person who has been my pillar, my refuge, model, and other words that are yet to be discovered. She works two jobs to see us through university and still have time to walks us through the constant condemnation that come from life (mostly from the one person who sees us as a bother despite our very close DNA similarity).  It’s like having to live with a super woman, who is a mother (the greatest ever), a wife (the best), and a hero. 

There is hope after all! So I have finally discovered how to make someone else smile, it will begin with me! I will smile from my heart so that my eyes can attest to the joy that I feel. I will ask the lord to make me be a joy so that I share myself with others. I will love with my action, not just my words and I will be who I have been taught to be- A SEVANT LEADER. I know I will have my dark moments when I will not have the strength to do all these things; hence I will turn my face to the One who lives in me to give me His strength. Everything might not be going the way I planned them to go but the faith that there is a greater power that is constantly working out my life is enough for me to sit down with a bunch of man-eaters and still smile from my heart. It might seem stupid or downright absurd, but He who overcame death, can speak to the storm, He gave His life for me to have mine, what do I have to loose??

So I leave you with these words from the deepest part of my heart:

Allow yourself to be the beacon through the darkest night for a lonely soul;
Don’t be afraid to be wings that guide a broken heart to a safe haven;
Take in a stranger and shelter him/her through the raging storm;
LOVE TILL FOREVER COMES

Dear Diary

Oh Wonderful time!!
After the COM459 class i am looking forward to my free day tomorrow when i will not have to get out of my PJ( i will be in heaven just me, my mug coffee (who cares if tis 1000 degrees in athi any time is coffee time), cake, and King Julian-) A perfect Thursday. Too bad I cant fast forward to tomorrow (i am still working on my fast-forward super powers, the fire powers are proving too hard to be mastered in the allocated time). Walking to SCU- where my room is i can't help but think of how this Semester has been, despite 'The Break-Up' with my once price charming it has been a smooth rocky ride. started off a bit sluggish with feelings of being lost, not knowing how i would get through school without the stares from 'former prince charming' friends and the too mushy pals who think all i want to do is have slumber parties where we all sit and enjoy the disgusting over dose of sugar (ice-cream and chocolates), paint each others' nails and cry all night..aarrgghh as if my life wasn't complicated enough. And not to mention the million dollar question which everyone wanted to know "what happened between you two?" mmh thanks to the sky spirits for SCU my safe haven.

In SCU, the people are lively and that's exactly want i need people who are too engrossed in their lives to bother about the minor details of mine. PURE BLISS. LOLing is the order of the day in this land. The best memories of this semester can be traced back here! A far away forgotten land. Waking up to smiling faces every day makes the nights torturous! The thought of retiring to the lonely bed makes me want to transfer my room to the Sitting room/Kitchen/T.v room/Study room/Chapel/Therapy room..
The Noisy Horn-bill of the village is up late in the morning. She says 'hellow' to everyone with a smile that would deceive the devil. Psycho is in the kitchen quietly making breakfast- pancakes and some hot chocolate, she's with her best friend (baby psycho) who is from the neighboring village. The two have been friends from Freshman year. Baby psycho has been a frequent visitor in this village that we thought it best if we gave her the corridors to put up her bed to save her the long walks back to her villager which was 3seconds away from ours. The two psychos are very normal before they have their morning concoction after that its down right psychosis the whole day-which is really cool. One of them thinks that she could save the world by painting pretty pictures and coloring while the other wants to free all the in mates in Kamiti prison to give them huggies and kisses.. ADORABLE *aiming loaded gun to head*. E.V.E The Diva quietly walks in the village as she prepares to go to class. She made sure that all her classes were in the morning so that she can have afternoons all to herself and use them to derail other people- very thoughtful of her! Sue-tell-her is sited comfortably in front of the T.V screen watching the morning news, i wonder if anything has changed since she saw the 6am morning news, who knows maybe Obama has bought a new pair of shoes- u wouldn't want to miss that now would you? She has a morning class but that isnt as half important as seing obama walk in his new shoes! Back in my room every thing is as peaceful as a tornado, my roommate is looking for what to wear to class.Yesterday she had to change her outfit because the perfume she wore clashed with the outfit- if you thought rocket science was hard, try matching an outfit with the correct perfume!! This is a very normal morning in my safe haven!


I walk in the village in the evening and all the divas are now gathered in the kitchen either cooking, watching the T.V or catching up with the days activity. This is where deep, silly, obscene, political, obnoxious, spiritual things are said. Albert Einstein could learn a few things from such gatherings. Yesterday mama decided to open a door that I never thought ever existed. She beckoned us to all behind our closets and get out our dinner dresses, at first i thought she was having a bad case hysteria but when EVE the diva came out of her room with a drop dead gorgeous dress no one wanted to fall short of the glorious pace that had been set! the 'uuuu-s ' and 'aaaa-s' filled the village! Some divas were advised to eat more and others to get other dresses for the ones they had were not fabulous enough to contain them. The mood had been set and every one (yes dear reader even me) tries out their 'well hidden, one time important dress'. oh the laughter the amazement, the teasing and appreciation that's in the village is breathtaking. Photos are taken, words said, images transformed and beauty at its very best is show cased. A boy wouldn't last 2 seconds in the village full of  these divas! Those that were thought to be 'tomboys' proof themselves diva-licious and eye brows are raised!
A Lovely day needless to say dear Diary,
Now Sited in the sitting room (now transformed to be a study room) Sue-Tell-Her and my roomy are busy reading for their CAT, Psycho is munching away and I am thinking of calling it a day. These is one of those days that I thank God with every breath I take because He gave me a safe haven where i can run and find refuge from the cruel world, the first breakup, and the hidden emotions of uncertainty. The rest of the divas are catching up with their beauty sleep and it is only a matter of time till i find myself in the lonely bed which i now share with the memories of a lost love. Good Night D. lets so this again tomorrow :)


TheIceGal

Dear Modern_Kenyan_man

I highly doubt i should start my blog with such a complex topic (yea i just said topic to sound all journalistic which i aignt,  but most of my family members would argue otherwise. That however is a blog for another day) ooh back to the point where i was saying that this is probably not a good place to start, the truth is i gave normalcy and society's expectation a shot and i have failed bigly (don't reach out for your dictionary yet- Bigly is yet to be put there but it will in due time.) Anyhuu i think being normal is overrated so i take pride in being called a psycho- not many's choice of title but like i said i didnt do too well in the normal world:)and what do they know right?


Maybe i should go back to the topic of discussion (wuhuu Ms. Kizito would be so proud of me for using those words -Topic of Discussion-) ok so here is the thing, leo i walked into to town to try out my newly acquired second pair of eyes and dazzle people with them but wat i saw made me want to go back home and sleep through this year. What happened to the boys in Nairobi? Was there an alien coo that got rid of all the boys and replaced them with a breed between boy and girl? Every where i turn my four eyes i see some dude in skinny jeans, a tight shirt and some pair of weird looking shoes (space shoes as they are called. they should be worn in people's dreams or SPACE). kama hii ndio inaitwa fashion..wake me up when its over Ala!!! This is outrageous! As if that is not enough we now have Man_bags i doubt there is anything manly about them but well-- they are there!!. I am not trying to hate on any one's fashion statement for that would be wrong en a tard bit unethical you know. But SERIOUSLY man_bags? skinny jeans? fitting tops? lip gloss...aaaiigh

So i walk in my least favorite joint that i haven't visited in a long time, not because i didn't like their well cooked diverse meal which is ALWAYS accompanied with some sort of meat (i should let you know that i am a devout vegetarian)but because their waiters are a little bit slower than any tortoise known to mankind. I head to the counter to get my 'take away' juice only to 'accidentally over hear' (some people would call it eavesdropping but thank God i'm not one of those people ) a conversation that i wish didn't hear. So there is this couple(by their body language it is evident even to a blind man that the two are more than good friends) sited right next to the cashier counter (i wonder if there should be a table at this point! trust lovely kikuyu's to make use of any space to capitalize on the profits), i don't know who had passed on but they both seemed like they were carrying the whole world on their shoulders. Being the Kenyan that I am, i wanted to know why they were wearing the long face not because i would offer any help but just to hear their story. Lady luck was on my side as an old man who was sitting behind them got up to leave throwing them the craziest look i have ever seen. I could have sworn that he was going to snap their little heads! I did not pay much attention to his look, but I wish I had. I almost broke my legs as i walked gracefully towards the old man, so as to have his seat before any other person thought of it. If I didn't give him the scare of his life then he must have been in the world war. As i gently eased myself on the seat i realized the couple had attracted most of the waiters' attention. One waiter walks over to me and asks what i was having, i took the Menu he was handing me and pretended to go through it. I knew i was having juice from the moment i walked through the door but it wouldn't kill to show the waiter that i too can be indecisive.'Niletee Mango juice tafathali' i said after what seemed like moments of careful deliberation. 'nime add 2kg from the last time nilijipima, do i look fat?' this statement almost threw me off the chair! it didn't end there 'jana Mike aliniambia ati kucha zangu hazikai fiti just coz sijaenda Mani for two weeks, aki look at the way they are' it took all the energy i had not to turn around and give this girl masquerading in a man's cloth a beating of a life time, she was giving the man, as we know him a bad name! I turned around to see the other girl with a stream of tears on her face! 'serves you right for hanging around such humans' i wanted to tell her but the sane voice in me told me to mind my own business. En the complains went on en on en..... I was ready to jump out from the 10th floor of KNH, by the time the waiter came back with my order.

I walk out of the joint head down and juice in my hand which i give to the little girl sited in the street with her mother. her mother goes on to thank me and shower me with blessings but the words which are now engraved in my genius mind make it difficult for me to say anything inspiration to the woman and i walk away in silence. As i board the matatu the whining of the man in the joint is so vivid that the greetings from the tout pass me by and i sit in the aura of my confusion. What happened to the 'flingstone man' who did not cry when he put on weight or used his teeth to cut his nails en put on decently. The one i didn't have to compete with in the salon, clothes store, beauticians, cosmetics, :( whateva happened to him? Now who will i obsess my weight gain,bad hair day en many other things to:( ooh well thank goodiness for my KingJulianDenzelDepp Character who i can always count on...

Sign
TheIceGal