Grace, Giggles, and Group Chats ( FOMO)

If God ever lined up His favourites for roll‑call, I’d probably be in the front row, hand raised, clapping frantically like my life depends on it. (high claps because- hands raised)I say that partly tongue-in-cheek but ONLY PARTLY. Because every time I step back and look at the people He’s placed around me, I’m floored. Hao si  saints, lakini, honestly, if you squint past the constant banter and endless roast sessions, you can’t miss the grace dripping off my family and friends. The Lord has been more than kind.

 Over the weekend we pulled a classic “us” move. Our resident Super Producer—aka mtoto wetu, stumbled on a reel and declared, “Guys, let’s each make a full‑blown presentation about who we are and what we do. Career, life missions, visions—kila kitu.”Sasa, sisi tunajua jokes kweli? ( I hope you said Nooooooo) 

Now, you’d think these my peoples would come to wing it. AH! Wapi! Everyone showed up armed with PowerPoints, Canva slides, even one PDF that looked suspiciously like a TED Talk deck. Imagine an Annual General Meeting but with people who genuinely care and are concerned about you and above all your well being! It was a re‑introduction to ourselves, by ourselves.

Slide after slide, revelation after revelation, the verdict was loud: my friends don’t play. Sure, they’re silly actually, borderline ridiculous 98% of the time, but when it comes to their craft, their side hustles, or the causes they champion, they turn into absolute beasts. Humble beasts, but beasts all the same.

One is out here turning complex, jargon-filled information into stuff even your cucu could get, and enjoy. Another is juggling the skies (yes, literal planes) and farming with the kind of ease that makes you wonder if they cloned themselves. There's one giving Hollywood line producers a proper run for their dollars, and another casually building tech businesses like it’s just another Tuesday on the calendar.

Then there’s the one healing minds and souls through the power of education, quietly restoring whole generations. Someone else sees the world through a creative lens so futuristic, the rest of us are still trying to catch up. One is a love warrior, tried, tested, and true, who sees human scars and somehow gives them language, and then there’s the one for whom distance is merely a suggestion. Their impact? Felt deeply, even from miles away! Dripping in generosity, thoughtfulness, and a kind of kindness that bleeds right into their work.

And all this? All this brilliance? Happening while still at 2% serious!  Seeing it all laid out like that was equal parts humbling and electrifying

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Standing too close to any mirror warps the view, you notice wrinkles but miss the spark in your eyes. Friday’s showcase zoomed the lens all the way out. It was a gentle reminder that God often hides miracles in plain sight, disguising them as “FOMO” When the curtain lifted, I saw how each gift, each hustle, each quirky personality thread together into a vibrant tapestry of purpose.

As I sat there, heart bursting with admiration (and a mild case of imposter syndrome), Proverbs 27:17 whispered: “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” That’s exactly what happened—each story, each slide, knocked a little dullness off the rest of us. We left sharper, braver, and oddly lighter, reminded that our talents aren’t trophies to hide on a shelf but tools to build up the whole crew. Aka To Wandia Them!

So here’s to friends who pull up with PowerPoints, to mirrors that show the bigger picture, and to a God who keeps seating us in the front row of His grace—front‑row seats where iron keeps sharpening iron, again and again.

Nothing/No experience is wasted!

Ok, to be more specific: Nothing in the hands of the Maker is ever wasted!

The first time I heard this, I was knee-deep in one of my darkest seasons. I mean giza giza! Mwaka 2016!
And my friend, bless her heart, said to me in one of our conversations:

"Ice, I pray that this pain is not wasted."
I froze!

Yes, the irony isn’t lost on me.

For the life of me, I couldn’t fathom how that kind of pain would ever be useful.

Ah! Ah! Ah!

Give time, time—it will surprise you!

Anyway—back to the “nothing is ever wasted” bit.

Over the weekend, I was out living my best Auntie duties (a.k.a bike riding), when a memory hit me like how these bills keep coming!
See, back in the day, we lived in a “gated community.”
(Ahem—gated in the sense that they were KNH staff quarters housing.)

Huku ndio trauma ya “haves” and “have-nots” ilianza.

Sasa, there were some cool kids who had bikes.
Not just any bikes—mountain bikes.
(Ahem, if you know, you know.)
Sisi? We weren’t among the cool kids.
Basically, we didn’t have bikes.

The cool kids behaved like they held the keys to the pearly gates!
The grounds they rode on were ‘holy grounds’.
Yaani, it was their world and we were just living in it!

Ah, the begging. The flattery. The psychological warfare just to get one ride.
Utter madness!

And the plot twist?
I didn’t even know how to ride a bike!

So now I had two problems:

1. Beg for a bike

2. Get someone to teach me how to ride it

Shida tu!

Now where would I begin?
Ni kubeg, gravel for the bike ama nikufunzwa how to ride?
I needed to choose a struggle.

I chose peace and living in my head.

I’d watch the ‘haves’ for hours as they rode their little hearts out,
the ‘have-nots’ worshipped the grounds the ‘haves’ rode on.

Bike riding? I learned that as a grown-up.
But that feeling of not having?
Myeeeen, it's unforgettable.

AND don’t get me started on swimming!

Woooiii!!!

I never had a swimsuit!
This wasn’t anywhere near the hierarchy of needs that Mother and Rev were trying to meet!
I didn’t even have the language to ask for a swimsuit!

Lakini, peer pressure had me in a chokehold.
An opportunity to go swimming with other kids in the estate presented itself.
In true Ice fashion, I decided to be my own savior.

I stitched up one of my cotton vests down the middle,
since I had seen how swimsuits looked like.

AKI, it was a cotton vest!

Like that’s not bad enough—it was one of those vests where the color would run.
Let that SINK.

Yooooo!!!

The stares, the subtle laughs, the whispers that followed—INSANE!

Then did I know how to swim?
If you answered “No”—you know me too well!!

Weeee!!!
Now I know why learning how to ride a bike and how to swim are two major activities that have stayed on my bucket list!

Inner child must be healed!

Go to therapy.
Imagine, ni muhimu.

Tigoni Ebike Tour

 I did a THING!

Woke up bright and early, drove to the end of the world (okay, fine, a few miles shy of THE END of the world) just to ride a bike.

I know what you’re thinking. Kuendesha bike tu?

AHEM.

This was NOT your ordinary bike ride! NOPE! No! Noooooooo!

This was me living out a fantasy!

Where did this fantasy come from, you ask?

Oh, I’m so glad you did.

*Pulls a seat* You’ll want to sit down for this one!

Flashback: Many, many, MANY moons ago, back in campus, we went for this camp. On the itinerary? Bike riding.

I was hyped! Dreamed about it! Saw myself gliding through open roads, yellow tulips swaying in the breeze, wind in my hair, helmet securely on (safety first, folks), and my favorite songs in my ears. Beside me? One of my favorite humans back then.(If you catch the drift *wink*).. Bliss!

Then morning came.

And with it, the dreaded call: “Watu wanajua kuride bike?” Twendeni...

Cue my heart dropping to the floor. Dreams audibly shuttering in my soul!

Mimi? ICE? Did I know how to ride a bike?

If you said yes... WHO are you, and why are you lying to both of us?!

Also. It's didn't help that 'Favorite human' not only knew how to BUT was Darn good at it! NKT!

From THAT day, I’ve been counting down to this moment—when I could finally ride down open roads, tulips or no tulips, wind in my hair (helmet on, obviously), audiobook playing, person or NOT and just... LIVE.

And guess what? I DID IT!

Is every part of my body screaming in utter pain?

If you said no... *points to the FIRE EXIT.*

BUT—is my soul absolutely, positively, unapologetically joyful? You bet it is. WINK.

Oh, and before I go: there’s this proper hidden gem called @Fig&Olive Restaurant where I had the most amazing coffee! This is NOT A coffee POST So I shall NOT Go there- LAkini dreams DO Come True!

Tuseme this year we’re romanticizing life. Because guess what?

IT IS a darn good life.

Tumesema happy New Year Ama Bado?

*Raises glass* To a #Dreamy2025

Brand consistency is a superpower.

It’s the magic that keeps customers coming back, and let me tell you—CJs has it in the BAG! 🛍️ Every single branch I’ve visited delivers the same level of excellence: the service, the smiles, and most importantly, the coffee—consistently amazing.

(Disclaimer: They did NOT pay me to say this. I’m just a coffee enthusiast with opinions!)

Now, here’s the flip side. One of my biggest pet peeves, especially as someone who loves hopping from one coffee shop to another, is the lack of consistency.

The pattern is almost predictable: the first visit is AMAZING. Smiles are free, the food presentation is 5-star, and you leave thinking, “This is it, my new spot!” Yaani, first impressions are immaculate. 👌🏾

But hapa ndio shida huanza. The second visit? Eeeh, not so much. Let me give you an example: Viewpoint (Pale Embu).

My first time there in February was unforgettable! The waitress was a gem—super attentive and sweet. She even ensured my pancakes (okay, crepes) were egg-free, so I could enjoy them worry-free. Presentation? A+! Impeccable. I left thinking, “I’ve found the one.”

Then came visit two... yooo! It was like I’d entered a completely different establishment. After waiting 30 minutes (yep, I timed it), I had to track down a waitress. The interaction went like this:

Me: Can I have pancakes without eggs?

Waitress: Basi hiyo si pancakes

Me: Is it possible to get them made that way?

Waitress (begrudgingly): I’ll ask the chef kama wanaweza.

What I got? Totally different from my first visit. But because I believe in second chances (and third charms), I went back. Let’s just say… charm was nowhere to be found. 😅

This isn’t just about coffee shops, though—it’s a wider issue across industries. Consistency is what keeps your customers coming back. Without it, you risk turning loyal customers into one-time visitors.

So here’s my takeaway: if you want to build a strong brand, make sure the experience is consistently great—not just for first-timers, but for every customer, every time.

Let’s talk about it—how does your business stay consistent? Or have you had a similar “first amazing, second meh” experience? Let’s share stories!

Coffee Review #BlackGoldCafè

 

The NEED to try out coffee has taken me to some wild places—hidden gems, world-famous cafés, and everything in between. I’m constantly amazed at how Kahawa has this way of leveling the playing field.

Now, here’s a fact for you: the base of ALL (yes, ALL) coffee is ESPRESSO. This little powerhouse is coffee brewed under intense pressure, and when done right, it doesn’t even need sugar. Aki, it’s the kind of brew that demands your attention—smooth as it goes down, leaving your taste buds craving more. But here’s the thing, like a perfect dancer, a well-balanced espresso knows when to take a bow and exit the stage gracefully. Memorable, oh so memorable.

Coffee? Anyone?

And that’s exactly what I got at @BlackGoldCafè. My goodness! Just when I thought my coffee adventures couldn’t surprise me anymore—BAM! They did. Their house coffee, a filter coffee, was pure magic. Black Magic, if you will. From the first sip to the last drop, it was a journey.

Now, about the service... mhh. You know how some places have this vibe? That little aloofness you expect at such establishments? Well, the waiter was nice—no lies—but there’s this kasomething that just feels, you know, eeeh. Like, is the niceness genuine, or is it part of the JD? 🤔 But hey, let’s focus on what matters: the Kahawa, not the watu.

Forbidden Love Lament

In a effort to get back on this word bandwagon, Let's start off on a light note...

 I Miss You - Is what my soul thinks it wants to say, somehow in a convoluted dimension, It's deceived itself into believing that it is ok to miss you. But just like the water misses electricity, I miss you!

My mind wants to bounce off it's thoughts with you, get your perspective, but that is letting you into a glimpse of my soul. Gasoline and matchbox. Flames!

There is a reset button in my body that I did not know of its existence till you turned up with its pass key. Now I do not know how to turn it off! With every passive hug, the earth beneath me wants to give in.

So I will tell the wind how much I miss you, how much every inch of my body longs for you, how my mind cannot stop drifting into you. I will tell the wind that in another life another universe, I'd tell you. But not in this. Not in this world!

As the wind belongs to another, so do you. So I hope this never gets to you. I hope this stays only in mind, body and soul. I hope you never get wind of this. 

So otherwise? 

Food for Thought?

 

*Walks in SLOWLY* 

*Removes cobwebs*....

Well, hello there! 

*choosing to ignore the LONG hot minUte! 

 

The other day ( not so long ago)  life events got me to the industrial area police station!

Now, I've always had a strained relationship with the guys in uniform. 

All my interactions with them always end up in premium tears or a bleeding bank account. There was one time I had to use all the theatrics skills I learned in primary school to get my self out of a situation!

 Eeh! That act should have gotten an Emmy!Ahhh! That day, the cop drove me home! LITERALLY she took the car and drove home.

Anyway... Back to today!

I packed enough patience, tears and threw in good cheer!

We (Mother and I)  get to the station but, something strikes me like a ton of brick! Behind the men in uniform, there are souls!

Who Knew?

The station is their natural habitat!

I marvel at how they interact with each other, they are extremely friendly, they laugh, fist bump, share inside jokes etc. 

I see a hawker pass through the station with the shoes he is hawking hanging from his shoulders and others in his hand. His confidence is astounding, it should be among the 7 wonders! Yaani huyu ako na audacity!

None of the cops have their hats on. Maybe it is the hats that take over their souls and make them seemingly inhumane!

I knew we would be there for a while so I decided to take a tour!

I wish I did NOT!

I walked into what looked like a grave yard!

A grave yard of stories!

Cars and motorbikes that have been involved in accidents! 

The motorbikes formed a small mountain! It was heart breaking!

The cars were ripped like paper! And these were not JUST any cars. These were top notch Machines!! German machines! beasts that had been brought down!

My feet froze! My eyes wished they could unsee what they were experiencing!

The motorbikes took me back to the year I lost my uncle. He had a fatal accident when on his bike! This was my favourite unlce. 

Flashes of ALL the motorbike accidents I have seen just this year came flooding! 

I could almost feel all their Pain! 

I could hear the screams from the souls of the people who were in the cars!

Each car or motorbike succinctly spoke its truth! I heard them ALL!

Guys! Please be careful on these our roads!

Maybe Faith?

Maybe Faith!

One thing I constantly battle with is hearing God’s voice. Myeen!

 I STRUGGLE A LOT! 

Hence I find myself constantly second-guessing most of the ideas/thoughts/plans/relations that I deal with daily. 

Was it God’s will that I start a Company? Or was I too beat up with the lack of communication when I sent out gazillion ‘Job application emails and letters’ that I took the easiest way out? Hid behind entrepreneurship so that I do not have to get another silence/ another regret / another ‘rejection’. Is this company as a result of reckless faith or is it an escape from the seemingly lack of employment opportunities?

Was it really God’s plan / or my escape plan?

I cannot honestly answer this because: *read the second line*.

Building a company is NO walk in the park, leave alone starting a business. There are days on end that I don’t get out of bed because of the paralyzing fear of failing / not being relevant / not getting clients / not getting paid. Despite all these, I cannot ignore the overwhelming satisfaction that comes with doing what I do. I have and would offer communication strategies for free if bills didn’t need to be paid or counties visited or coffee had. There is an unexplainable joy that comes from putting together words that paint pictures and create worlds that exist only in the mind.

But still, a constant question of is it God’s will that I build my company or am I meant to be working for a company? Getting a paycheque at the end of every month? Did I give up too soon on the job searching? Was I like an email away to a dream career?

To those guys who are can hear/know beyond any doubt about God’s will/voice / in all areas of their lives - please show me your ways. Now, I know what the bible says about His sheep and knowing His voice. I know, maybe in 2020 its not just the vision that will be perfected.

This year part of the resolution was deep water faith. Taking on tasks that are very counter-intuitive, like being vulnerable, submitting to the process of being held accountable (especially in business), seeing humans through the eyes of God (eeeh this is the mother of all hard things to do). looking back, I am not sure I did well. I was too stuck on the fear of being hurt or failing.

Other than business, another struggle is the life choices I make. For instance, my non-negotiables when it comes to the dating scenes. Are they too stuck-up? Are they too old fashioned? Are they unrealistic? Now, let’s clear this:- I know there are some men who are not saved that would make for better life partners than the saved men ( I KNOW) BUT one personal non-negotiable is that someone I would consider to be in a relationship with has to have a relationship with Christ. Unfaithfulness is a deal-breaker for me. 

Now here comes the spanner in the works: - is this my own standard or is this God’s will for my course of life. Is this the reason why I hang out with single-hood? Do people still uphold such values? Or does anything go? I have heard numerous stories about Christian men whose actions would make the devil blush, is it still feasible to pray and wait on God for a spouse? The stats and endless stories in these streets make the wait feel futile.

Cheers to the wait.

 
 I don't know what 2020 holds, but I am planning to do a slow dance with all my fears as I do the things that scare me to death.

I wasn't cool enough to join a Life Group.

Have I ever mentioned a time when I was trying to join a Life Group?

 I have never? Well, gather up people. This will be a long story.

The year: 2013

Season: Piecing together a broken heart.

This was not the first time I was nursing a broken heart (You can read about that here), but somehow it felt like it was. The first time I dug deep into the books, found solace in soaking in all the knowledge I could, drowned my sorrows as the GPA rose. It was a breeze. 

This time, there were no books to dig my head into. No GPA to work on. Nothing but allergies and TrioG.  I was out in the real world.

I guess that is why it felt very strange having to deal with these particular human emotions.

“Surrounding yourself with godly people might help,” the mind said to the heart. “I hear a problem shared is half solved.” So, I signed up for a 10week program geared towards forming life long relationships.

The 10 weeks crawled slower than a sloth trying to go up a hill. But I was determined to put in the work, time and money to make sure my life doesn’t spin out of control. Wearing our hearts on our sleeves was a prerequisite, so I did. I was fully committed to bonding with this group. Knocked off some bricks from the emotional wall I had built for years and begun to lower my guard.  

It was emotionally draining, to say the least, but I got through the 10 weeks.

After successfully going through the program, we were given powers to go and build on the relationships that the program had laid the foundation for. I still felt a bit estranged but I was thrilled to be part of a godly group. 

The group met weekly.

More often than not the meeting venue was always way off my way, but seeing I was hell-bent to belong to the group, I dug deeper into my non-existent pocket.

It was financially draining, but it was a price I was willing to pay.

After one of our meetings, I decide to hang behind and spend some time with the group. I walked up to one of the ladies who had mentioned that her kids were home and she was looking for a tutor. She was one of the ladies who for some reason I hadn’t quite had time to interact with.

Ice : What kind of tutor are you looking for?

LG Member: (paused for a minute as she looked me straight in the eye, slightly tilted her head and narrowed her eyes)

Ice : (smiles)

LG Member: I can’t talk about my kids with you. Sorry.

Ice : (insert shattering glass soundtrack here)okay? (smile). Okay.

That was the last nail I needed for that coffin.

I wasn’t asking about their names? (which she had mentioned at some point during the meeting) Or which school they went to. It was a simple small talk (or so I thought) attempt. Her statement removed the veil I had put over my head. I had been trying so hard to fit in, to belong to a Life group that I was missing out on my life.

The truth was, this wasn’t the Life group for me. I wasn’t cool enough to be in their inner circle or even their peripheral. It took me a while to understand this, but I finally did.

Not long after this, I found my way into a fellowship called MadLove. I met a group of people who showed me some mad love, it was insane!!

∞Soul Connect.

ConnectCoffee ∞your heart – this is their slogan. (I translated this to :- connecting coffee infinitely to your heart. And true to their word they do.

I never rush through my coffee; I find that very disrespectful and inconsiderate to the beans that gave up their ghost for you to have a taste of heaven. Catch a glimpse of how Eden must have been before it knew sin. Now at Connect Coffee or at Barista&Co the cup takes longer to be emptied.

With each sip I see the heavens opening up, my soul savors each undertone and the eyelids become too tired and they take a rest. I get to know each bean that went to the grind by its name. If you are keen enough, you can hear the symphony of each grind.

I have noticed how small and intimate the two (Barista&Co and ConnectCoffee) places are, and I have a feeling it is by design. Your welcome begins from your first step into the shop. The hosts that wait on you have a soothing demeanor, they are soft spoken and it feels like each word they utter has been put through the fire for purification. They all smile with their essence and their eyes tell you that you matter. That you have come to the right place. That you will forget all your troubles, that you are safe. And you are. And you do.

As you give your order, from the menu meticulously displayed on their wall, you want to try every type of coffee, but you know you can’t. Today we will have the short latte (this is one of their signature cups) You Must try it.

As you ease your self into the tables, the music catches your soul. The music has been carefully selected. Each song is part of an ongoing story being narrated. There is no way you can leave in the middle of a song. It would be like walking out of a story – no one should do that. 

If you haven’t been to Connect Coffee or Barista&Co, myeeen, do your soul a favor and just go.

Also, when you do, tell me how it was 😊.